What Is Bullying
Imagine that you’re a parent of two kids. Your oldest daughter, loves to be active in sports, works hard in school, and has a lot of friends most people would consider her popular. But your youngest daughter has a fear of people. A fear of talking to them, seeing them, or being seen by them. She wasn’t always like this, until she was bullied at school. You noticed she came home and cried almost every day, her tears were more than just the average tears.
They were tears of heartbreak, tears that made her begin to question whether or not she wanted to live. You comforted her while she was at home, you called the school, they assured you that your daughter would now be in good care. Her school was shocked by the amount of bullying happening all the time. A community member heard about the severity of this case. She stepped in and volunteered to serve on and start an anti-bullying campaign at the middle school. Her program was based on the education of bullying.
Bullying, what is bullying? It’s defined as the “Use of superior strength or influence to intimidate someone, typically to force him or her to do what one wants.” There are many types of bullying, Physical Bullying#, Verbal Bullying, Social Bullying, Cyberbullying and Dating Abuse.
Physical Bullying is any bullying that hurts someone’s body or damages their possessions. Stealing, shoving, hitting, fighting, and destroying property all are types of physical bullying. Physical bullying is rarely the first form of bullying that a target will experience. Often bullying will begin in a different form and progress to physical violence. In physical bullying the main weapon the bully uses is their body.
Verbal Bullying is any bullying that is done by speaking. Calling names, spreading rumors, threatening somebody, and making fun of others are all forms of verbal bullying. Verbal bullying is one of the most common types of bullying. In verbal bullying the main weapon the bully uses is their voice.
Social Bullying is any bully that is done with the intent to hurt somebody’s reputation or social standing. Social bullying often happens between friends. It can happen in two ways: either by trying to exclude somebody and make them feel unwanted, or by gaining somebody’s trust and then breaking it. Social bullying could include spreading a friend’s secret all over school to damage their reputation, or encouraging others to ignore, chastise, or threaten a friend. This type of bullying is most common among girls, but can certainly happen with guys as well. In social bullying, the main weapons the bully uses are relationships.
Cyberbullying is any bullying that happens over any technological device. This includes email, instant messaging, social networking sites, text messages, and cell phones. Cyberbullying is one of the trickiest forms of bullying because it is so new. Many adults are not familiar with the latest technology, making it difficult for them to know what to look for or how to intervene. The weapon the bully uses in cyberbullying is technology.
Dating abuse is a type of bullying that can take the form of any type of bullying within the context of a dating relationship. Verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse are all signs of an unhealthy relationship. An abusive relationship can be characterized by any one of those signs or a combination of many.
There are generally three roles involved in a bullying situation: Bullies, targets, and bystanders.
A bully is the one who is trying to hurt or control others. Bullies have often been bullied himself/herself. It is important to know that anybody can be a bully! The target is the person who is being bullied, and No one deserves to be bullied!
A bystander may or may not be a friend of the target, but he or she is aware that the bullying is happening. Bystanders can be leaders/heroes/role-models by doing something helpful or getting help! Bystanders can be silent bullies if they do not try to get help. A bystander can provide help by reporting the bullying.
There are many areas that bullies can be found, other than on the playground. As a bully continues their life, they are found in workplaces, at home, on the street, or even on a train. When a bully is never stopped, they continue to be a bully for the rest of their life.
As the Rotarian president Sakuji Tanaka said: “I realized that by helping others, even in the simplest of ways, I could help to build peace. Our reward as Rotarians is the happiness and satisfaction of seeing a better, more peaceful world, one that we have achieved through our own efforts.” Peace can be made by putting others before yourself, because it allows us to focus our energy on what is truly important. We put the common good above our own, we value the needs of others over our own desires. We think less about ourselves and more about what is best for everyone. In this way, we help provide a foundation for a more peaceful world.
Gandhi once said; “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” By starting anti-bullying programs, you are doing a service to others. You are stopping future bullies, and helping people understand it’s okay to stand up. To the people you affect, you have changed their lives. You have shown them how to be strong, and in their future they will change other’s lives, just like you have changed theirs. The Rotarians believe in service in several ways. One of which is education. Anti-bullying programs are educating others, and stopping harm before it is caused.
Fast Forward ten years: Your daughter that was bullied in middle school is now 17 years old. She is starting an anti-bullying club for not only high school, but the county. There are over 150 members in the club. Because of that community member, your daughter has now changed her home, her community, and will go on to change the world. Remember that we can change the world one good deed at a time.
