Think Like A Man
Think like A Man Battle of the Sexes Think like a Man: Battle of the Sexes “Don’t hate the player, change the game”, this influential quote in Steve Harvers book starts a battle of the sexes in four relationships when the women read it in the movie Think like a Man (2012). The movie exploits different dating stereotypes that lead to conflict and upset the balance of power in romantic relationships. The types of power and different communication climates are all different in reach relationship because of how Steve Harvey says, in his book, to deal with each stereotype the women are dealing with.
The women are all willing to listen to Harvey because he has expert power, and was endorsed by Opera which in a way almost gives him designated power as well. They learn how to deal with “non-committers”, “dreamers”, “players”, and “mama’s boys”. However, when the men learn about this book and start to fght back with plays of their own, conflicts arise that can only be resolved with Meta communication rather than strategy. The first battle between the “non-committer” Jeremy and the “girl who wants the ring” Kristin begins when Kristin reads that she must “demand” a proposal in order to get one.
They have been dating for seven years so in order to get what she wants Kristin uses the intimacy power she has over Jeremy by forcing him to get rid of his childish collection that he loves. Throughout this conflict Kristin uses disagreeing messages in order to express that she feels Jeremy should grow up. For example, when Kristin redecorates she makes an assertive statement by saying the couch needs to go. Then, as Jeremy refuses to agree she become aggressive as she accents her argument with gestures and a louder tone while reminding him his aunt peed all over it last Christmas.
When Jeremy starts to read the book he realizes that he is going to have to present himself as growing up in order to make Kristin happy with him. He does this at first by structuring the conversations to avoid the topic of work, yet later loses control and lies to Kristin about putting in the resume at Neversoft. When Kristin realizes Jeremy nad betrayed ner trust and lied to ner sne moves in witn a triend and practices encounter avoidance in order to suppress her feelings towards Jeremy.
After a moment of realization, Jeremy then comes to Kristin when she cannot avoid him and pologizes, he came to the compromise of finally proposing to Kristin in order to her back in his life. Their relationship highlights the natural tendency of progression in interpersonal relationships and the importance of recognition as a couple in the bonding stage. The next battle is between Dominic “the dreamer” and Lauren “the woman who is her own man”. Lauren has been unable to find love because she is caught in the emotional fallacy of should when it comes to her men.
Whereas Dominic has had trouble finding women who are willing to believe in his dreams and ower their financial expectations in a boyfriend. Lauren first falls for Dominic because he presented himself as a wealthy, successful chef and she saw many tangible rewards in a relationship with him. Steve Harvey warns successful women that they don’t need a man to be equal to them in power in order to be happy. So, on their first date the topic of work was avoided by both parties so they would not scare each other away from a relationship.
However when Lauren realizes Dominic is a waiter at her company’s event her expectations contradicted reality and she became uninterested. Dominic becomes upset when Lauren becomes very impersonal when terminating the relationship which makes Lauren realize that in order to have a deep connection you need intimate meta-communication to make it work. Only after a date with a successful business man does Lauren realize she needed a man that was complementary to her, not similar and finally makes that clear when disclosing to Dominic her feelings about him.
Their relationship highlights the importance of emotional rewards in interpersonal relationships and how the fallacy of perfection can ruin perceptions of significant others. In the battle between Maya “the 90-day rule girl” and Zeke “the player” Zeke believes he is in control because of his referent power that he typically has with women. However, because she had gotten her feelings hurt by men like Chris Brown’s character who have slept with her yet did not know her name, Maya truly was winning the battle because she had reward power by making Zeke wait 90 days before getting “the cookie”.
These two very different dating stereotypes created the largest clash of power when it came to goals of the relationship. Maya’s unwillingness to sleep with Zeke until the 90 days were up made im work harder to figure out the compromise in this situation. Once Zeke gets a hold of the “playbook” he realizes that he has to play the part of a loving boyfriend, without realizing that he actually is becoming one. When those “three magic words” slip out he is no longer Just practicing face work of a boyfriend he actually means it and in return, Maya compromises and “lets the cookie out of the Jar”.
Zeke had been using strategy in order to get what he wanted from Maya, and when she found that out she was hurt because he betrayed the intimacy power she had given him. In rder to fix the problem he needed to be honest about his feelings towards Maya and regain her trust by taking on the role of a serious boyfriend. Their relationship highlights the importance that trust, specifically when it comes to not betraying intimacy, has in maintaining interpersonal relationships.
In the battle between “single mom” Candice and “mama’s boy’ Michael there is a lot of outside influence on their relationship. Their conflicts occur when the balance between internal and external dialectical tensions arise. Michael succeeds in the tlrst test when ne is willing to include Candice’s son Duke in their activities. However, tensions rise when Michael’s mom is unwilling to be nice to Candice and that mother-son relationship seems out of the norm for Candice.
She is intimidated by the idea that Michael is so close to his mother and that is why she does not like Candice, this is the fallacy of approval. It is upsetting for Candice that his mother has coercive power over Michael that is allowing him to put Candice in second place behind his mother. Once Michael reads the book and his friends point out to him, even though he is in denial, that he is the “mama’s boy’ chapter, Candice starts reappraising her thoughts because they eemed irrational once he changed his mother’s caller id in his phone.
She started to rationalize the unsettling feelings she had about the mama’s boy until she answered his phone one day and found out that Michael was lying. In order to get Candice back, Michael needed to show in a big gesture that Candice was the number one women in his life. Their relationship highlights the importance of being a priority to another personal in an interpersonal relationship. The movie Think like a Man expresses dating stereotypes that lead to conflict in romantic relationships. These ifferent stereotypes result in different types of power within the relationships.
Kristin and Jeremy highlight the importance of progression in a relationship and the effect of compromise when it comes to meta-communication about the future. Dominic and Lauren explain the concepts of complimentary attraction to others and how expectations and reality often clash while there is conflict in the relationship. Zeke and Maya are examples of the importance of commitment and communication about values of the relationship; they also highlight the necessity of honesty in a erious relationship through meta-communication.
Candice and Michael represent the struggle between internal and external influences on a relationship and the importance of balancing priorities in interpersonal relationships. All conflict came from dating stereotypes and was influenced by the linear communication model of Steve Harvey’s book. This movie is a representation of communication flaws that occur in interpersonal romantic relationships, and the appropriate, effective and ethical ways of reaching a compromise despite all outside influences and stereotypes.
