The Poison of Human Relationships
“My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was”(Dangerfield, 2007)
This is a quotation from Rodney Dangerfield and it is quote evident that jealousy makes a relationship crucial and impractical. Crucial in a sense that people’s life involved in a relationship is affected and it seems that they become such paranoids. It is Impractical because it really changed one’s way of living including societal and personal development.
Fear is the one acting behind the strings in jealousy. Jealousy is a state, wherein a person experiences fear, suspicion or envy cause by a real or imagined threat or challenge to one’s possessive instincts (Webster, 2007). Jealous feelings come up because we are afraid of not getting our needs. Most of the times, we want to be secured of something.
We are afraid of being abandoned, of losing one’s affection and love. We are afraid of being abandoned, of losing one’s affection and love. We are afraid of unresolved issues from past relationships. Whenever we are jealous of something or of someone, all that we hear is our self. We become deaf of other people’s explanation. We tend to think and see only the negative side of the story. It’s been an experience that when jealousy comes up, we pity ourselves. We often think that he or she is far better than us. Jealousy is a double edged sword, with the sharper edge pointed towards one’s self.
Jealousy is like a poison which spreads throughout the body and affecting everything that it makes contact with. Jealousy often is the result of not feeling good about yourself physically and personally. It weakens our emotional well being. At the same time, it builds paranoia to those who are stricken by it. Jealousy, as stated earlier is sort of a poison that paralyzes all the aspects of a human being.
Jealousy is a state by which a person feels that he/she should be the one who experiences what another person is giving to a different person besides himself/herself. Jealousy present even among family members. A good example would be is when a parent does favor for one if their children but not to the other.
While this type of jealousy can be lessened if the parent of the child also gives favors to the child that feels jealous, this may not be the case of a jealous lover. Instead, jealousy is often expressed as anger, leading us to accuse our partner of cheating. Sometimes those who are eaten by their own jealousy even avoid their friends that have something to offer than you wish you had to your loved ones.
Most of the time, jealousy is really about feeling threatened that our relationship will be affected by another person or other factors. This often results when one does not feel worthy in a relationship. There is always this thinking that one’s partner has a reason to look elsewhere for attention because one is not good enough.
If the person is a friend, then this also involves betrayal, and the hatred may breed between the two former friends. Most of us, when in this situation, are blinded by jealousy. Without knowing the main reason or cause of such situation, we easily conclude and usually, our conclusions lead to a fight or to an argument.
We often say that love is blind, but sometimes it is not love that makes us blind but jealousy. Being jealous usually arises from the assumption that you own and want to control another person’s affection and love and want to keep them all to one’s self. This is what we call a conditional love, the person will love another if and only if the other person loves him/her.
Jealousy affects health of those stricken by it, aside from the fact that it ruins one’s relationship. Feelings of jealousy can consume a person’s heart making the person irritable and annoyed . It can cause sleepless nights and lack of appetite. Some even turn to alcohol or drugs to deal with their feelings.
While others say that jealousy eats relationship alive and offers nothing in return, some believe and claim that being jealous sparks passion and romance. Jealousy can even sometimes strengthen a relationship. It sometimes means that you really love that person, that you really care for him/her and you only don’t want to loose him/her. Though jealous feelings can be frustrating, annoying and painful, somehow it brings up the feeling of sensual happiness. A little jealousy can sometimes help a relationship grow for the better. Too much of anything is detrimental to a relationship.
Some scientists and researchers believe jealousy can be genetic. Culture and upbringing play a role in jealousy as well. For example, a violent boyfriend may claim his jealousy as the result of loving her partner so much, when in fact in reality, he may be copying the behaviors of his own father and does no know how else or how it is to deal with jealousy.
If jealousy is an issue in one’s life, understanding of one’s behavior and what’s underneath it is essential in dealing with jealousy and preserving mental well being as well as the quality of relationships.
Reference
- Quotes about jealousyhttp://www.worldofquotes.com/topic/Jealousy/1/index.html
- Definition of Jealousy Webster Dictionary.
