The Case of Sammy
Sometimes, children feel that they are not given much attention by their parents that is why they tend to do the things that their parents don’t want them to do. Otherwise, they will not know what they really want to do in life. Will there be any possible solution for cases like these? I studied the case of Sammy, a boy who doesn’t want to go to school anymore and we can say that he is a naughty and a rebellious son. He has the feeling of inferiority about himself since his sister looks better than him.
His parents are always busy, that they don’t have time to talk to their child anymore, and when they come home early, Sammy always receives complains about the things he usually do and scolds him oftentimes. With this, Sammy somehow becomes disobedient that he can just walk out from them and even brags the door because of irritation. It is showing that the characteristic of Sammy differs from the others, and he could be considered as a problem child wherein his parents as we can assume, considers Sammy to be a difficult one.
On the other hand, Sammy do not feel that he is being loved and given an attention that is why, his acts are quite timid. He just like to turn around and walk away because he’d rather be silent than to have quarrels. However, this would greatly influence his personality when he grows up as he doesn’t give justice to the things that he should brought up to his parents. With this, his parents, knowing that criticizing Sammy would help him change, they are being negligent of what’s the feeling of their child towards them.
When we speak about the behavior of a child, the first thing that will enter our mind is the parents. Oftentimes, parents escape worrying about their children (O’Connor 2002) like Sammy’s parents. The question that comes to our mind would be, “how does his parents treat him, how does they control and manage Sam, what is their relationship with Sammy in terms of bonding, and what are the words that they tell Sammy which makes him irritated with them? ” With these questions that play in our thoughts, we can come up with some generalizations.
One, maybe Sammy’s parents don’t have time to teach him on how to do his homework, ever since he went to school, which made Sammy felt that no one is helping him. Another is that, the way his parents talk to him, is not the way Sammy wants to hear, and they are not aware of what Sammy’s likes and dislikes are. These assumptions will give us a bigger picture of Sammy’s case particularly at home. These affect the behavior of Sammy and will continue unless his parents try to stop it as soon a possible. According to some research, effective parenting skills are a critical indicator of positive outcomes for kids.
One solution would be according to Dr. O’ Connor (2002) that His parents should intervene to Sammy’s behavior in school, and make a plan together with his teacher to reinforce and encourage his positive behaviors. With regard to his action of simply walking away, his parents should properly talk to him seriously. Emotional regulation and understanding (Leventhal, 2007), should be developed and should be engage in levels of pretend play (Lindsey and Colwell). Sammy’s action should be assessed in order to determine how to solve the conflict between them (Zahn-Walker, Friedman, Cole, Mizuta, and Hiruma, 1996).
Even though Sammy’s parents are busy, there should be a time in which they will spend quality time with their siblings. This is to be able to know some updates about their child and to be able to observe their behavior, attitude and personality as they grow up. This will give an open communications within their family and Sammy will not hesitate to ask some things that he wants to know. No favoritism between siblings should be shown, as it will give a negative impact to the child’s eyes. As early as now, if Sammy’s parents try to consult experts in this scenario, then there is still a big chance for Sammy to change for the better.
In this study, I have learned in the end that parents play a great role in the reshaping the behavior of their children. Love, trust, encouragement must be present and certain strategies must be observed. All these should result in a positive outcome of a child’s behavior. The parents should also learn how to control their anger whenever their child has done something wrong, and punishment could be done in some other ways that the child will not get hurt, to the point that he will take revenge.
As a student, I have also learned that I should have a good conversation with my parents, try to show them that they are also given the respect that they needed because I know now, how hard it is to be a parent. It is not easy to deal with your children even though they are your own, with the same blood and staying under the same roof. I will not be stubborn and will be obedient to my parents and show them how I love them.