Qualitative Interview on Traits of a Healthy Marriage
Chronister recalled knowing Mr. Rob was “the one” that night, and Mr. Rob admitted to feeling “inadequate… ‘ didn’t think I had a shot in hell with her. ” He decided to pursue her anyway, and said they were inseparable from that night forward. After dating for six months, the couple moved in together and cohabitated for the next 12 years. During that time, they both pursued degrees, Mr. Rob in criminal law and Mrs. Chronister in Biology. Once Mrs. Chronister completed her degree in the summer of 1995, the couple decided to wed. ecause of how their bills nd property were titled, they decided that Mrs. Chronister would not take Mr. Rob’s name after marriage. The couple has no children but consider their two dogs, Buster and Baxter, their children. Mr. Rob is an attorney, and Mrs. Chronister is a substance abuse counselor. When asked to identify the greatest strengths in their marriage, strength. Both feel they can go to each other with any issue, and said they have a high level of mutual respect for one another. When asked to describe conflict resolution within their marriage, Mrs.
Chronister reported that while they are both strong-willed and highly opinionated individuals, they respect each other’s opinions and points of view and strive to find a common ground. Mr. Rob said it’s all about “negotiating. ” When asked what role spirituality and faith played in the success of their marriage, Mrs. Chronister said while she is very spiritual, Mr. Rob is much more religious and attends church alone. Mrs. Chronister added that they both hold Christian values and believe you should be kind to everyone no matter what their past is.
They agreed that they both strive to be good people and help others when they are in need. When asked to describe the nature of their relationship with their in-laws, they both reported that neither set of in-laws agreed with their cohabitation and that it caused tension on both sides. The couple said once their parents realized that they were being responsible, working adults and getting educations, they “eased up” and accepted their relationship. Mrs. Chronister said she is very close to Mr. Rob’s father and was close with his mother before she passed away.
Mr. Rob reported feeling close to Mrs. Chronister’s parents as well. Concerning roles in the marriage and the challenges associated with those, the couple described Mr. Rob as the breadwinner but much more irresponsible with handling money. Mrs. Chronister handles all finances and pays the bills. Neither of them felt their roles created challenges; Mrs. Chronister said if something comes up where they have a major bill or a vacation to save for, Mr. Rob will give her the money to save and that he doesn’t do anything irresponsible with their money.
When asked about one of the biggest challenges they went through as a couple, they agreed it was Mrs. Chronister’s prior addiction to methamphetamine. She reported being sober for 7 years and 5 months as of October 20th, 2013, but said she spiraled out of control during her active drug use. Mrs. Chronister was arrested for distributing and manufacturing methamphetamine, and served 2 h years in prison for the charges. Mr. Rob recalled Mrs. Chronister “disappearing for days weeks at a time, pawning our things… she Just had no control and I felt so lost.
I had no idea where my wife had gone. ” Mrs. Chronister said Mr. Rob “ran around trying to save me, but he couldn’t. It took me wanting to change and save myself. ” She said he stood by her side through all of it, and visited her every opportunity he had while she was in prison. When asked to discuss their philosophy on marriage and what they considered to be the most important parts, Mrs. Chronister said friendship was the most important part. Mr. Rob agreed, and added that finding a common ground and compromising with each other was equally important.
