Psychology Reflection Paper
Rocio Herrera Dep 2004 Dr. Norda Hernandez Mr. and Mrs. Harsh-Heart use authoritarian parenting style, I do not see any advantages when a parent uses this type of parenting style to raise their children. Authoritarian parenting style set very high standards for the children; parents are very demanding and are not responsive to the child’s needs or concerns. Parents don’t try to understand the child or try to understand the child’s point of view. These parents set strict rules of conduct and are critical of their children for not meeting these high standards.
Parents want to control their children by telling them what they need to do without explaining why they want their children to do things and if the child questions the authority, parents reply with “Because I said so”, instead of going in to detail why it’s not a good choice. Children raised by authoritarian parents don’t learn to think for themselves and don’t understand why parents want them to behave in a certain way. Parents with Authoritarian parenting style tend to focus more on bad behavior than positive behavior; if the child behaves badly they are harshly punished.
Children may learn to behave themselves because of fear of the parent or may have a hard time learning to think for them or they may rebel in reaction to the controlling methods of their parents. Another disadvantage for children raised by authoritarian parents is they have little or no freedom. Children raised under this control have less social ability, they are more likely to experience a nervous breakdown, become runaway. Children can’t distinguish between a good choice and a bad choice; it limits the child to think freely.
A child may fall into depression, alienation of public life and develop other psychological problems, the child may have poor social skills inn which may lead to inferiority complex, lack of confidence and self-worth. Adolescents may fall into unhealthy habits such as drug use or early exploration of the sexual activities. Authoritarian parents pick and choose who their teenager friends. There is no room for creativity or freely expression; adolescents may not think about his/her likes instead they tend to obey their parents which can create self-identity problems.
Ethical issues arise when using harshly punishment to discipline children such as if it’s morally correct because of the impact and effect that it has on children and even as an adult. Harshly punishments can be physical, verbal, withholding or penalties. Physical punishments are pking, paddling, using a belt, hair brush, slapping or using anything to hit a child. Verbal punishments are shaming, using cruel word, putting a child down, ridiculing. Withholding rewards are for example you are not allowed to watch TV until you don’t do your homework.
I tend to use withholding rewards from my son when he does not want to do homework, I tell him that the faster he is done, the sooner he can relax and watch TV. Penalties are such as if the child breaks something having him to pay it from his/her allowance. I also use this one too to discipline my son, he lost his Nintendo DSI at Wal-Mart, I quickly went to buy him a new one then he broke it so I asked him to pay for it from his piggy bank. I wanted to teach him to take care of the things he has and things cost money and we need to be more responsible of taking care of the things we like.
Spanking is corporal punishment and although pking was once the most popular way to discipline a child, it is no longer considered the first option or acceptable. Spanking sends mix signals to children such as if you pk your child for hitting his sibling, are you saying it’s acceptable for you to hit but not acceptable for the child to do so. As a parent you should lead by example and obviously you want to be clear in what you are projecting. The problem with pking is parents are frustrated, angry and tired when they use physical punishment.
How can one measure measure if you are crossing the thin line between physical discipline and physical abuse when you acting on anger or frustration? You really can’t, especially if you are hot headed. The safest way is not to do it, take a moment to cool off and acting on anger. It is a negative reinforcement and harmful. Children can lose self-esteem by being pked as form of discipline, I find it humiliating way (for the child) to teach the difference between right and wrong.
If a parent just does it once, it is easier to resort to that type of discipline in the future than using verbal discipline. A child may get used to being pked every time he/she behaves bad and it may not have the same effect anymore and this can lead to a more severe way of physical discipline such as punching and kicking. How I differentiate what is ethical and unethical way of discipline is by knowing that I only want was best for him and will do anything in power to raise him to best I can and refraining for anything that can harm him, emotional and physically wise.
As parent you have to put on the scale the advantages and disadvantages of pking and of course the disadvantages are greater. The Department of Children and families is responsible for protecting from child abuse and neglect. In severe cases such as the child having broken bones, bruises and cuts children are taken away from their home and put into child protective services and may charge the parent with child abuse and be asked to take parenting classes in order to get their children back.
Child Protective Services is concern with the safety and wellbeing of children. Mr. and Mrs. Easy-Going use Authoritative child-rearing style, it is the most successful approach. Authoritative parents listen to their children, encourage independence, place limits, consequences and expectation on their children’s behavior, express warmth and nurturance, allow children to express their opinions encourage children to discuss options and give their children consistent discipline.
This type of parenting style values child’s autonomy and self-expression, but knows also sets limits. Parents use rational expiations for why they must follow the rules, accepts the child’s qualities but also encourages the child to grow by modeling proper behavior. Children raised by authoritative parents are socially accountable for their actions, making them socially trustworthy. Allowing children to have discussions with parents on topics children learn how to communicate with others, and learn how to obey the rules without showing signs of anger.
Children raised in household that promote love are qualified to conquer dreams and goals at will; children grow up to be efficient grownups. Children do very well in school and exhibit academic achievement. They are very confident and become successful adults. These parents are more focused on teaching than punishing a bad behavior; although children are more happy and better behave than other children being raised by an authoritarian parent. A disadvantage of authoritative parenting is sometimes difficult to maintain when you have a willful child.
A parent must develop or have a high degree of patience and must be cultivated if parents want to maintain an authoritative atmosphere at home. House rules may have to be change as the child continues to grow such as the rules of a 6 year old will not be the same as when the child is 8 years old. The rules require periodic refinement in order for children to benefit from it. Since not all situations are the same sometimes parents need to amend or develop a new response to something the child says or does. This type of child rearing style requires dedication and sometimes attitude adjustment.
It is evident that the advantages are greater than the disadvantage in authoritative child rearing; this is a great approach to allow your children to grow mentality, physically and mainly emotionally. This by far the most effective way to raise your children with all the skills they need to become successful in life. I was raised by grandmother and she use authoritarian child rearing style and I had a unpleasant childhood, I was constantly yelled out and was severely punish physically and although I love grandmother until this day I still recent her for raising me that way.
What I learned from my experience as a child is that when I have my child I was going to do things differently. I try very hard to be a better parent by motivating, teaching, and encourage my son on how important it is to make good choices in life. We have discussion about school, I allow him to make choices on his own and allow him to express his feelings and thoughts. In the Hipic culture is normal to pk your children, yell at them and hit them with the chancleta but I want my son to better than me and using the authoritative child rearing style is the best approach.
