Parent and Teen Relationships

Children are raised differently each day. The way parents raise their children can affect them throughout life, and make them who they become as an adult. This is why it is important for parents and teens to have healthy relationships. Some parents whip their children for doing something wrong, some scold their children and whip them, but some do not even care about what their children do and in the future, this could be a major problem, especially for teenagers. When it comes to parents having to understand what their teenager is doing with their lives sometimes, it is unbearable for the parents.

The teenage years of young men and young women are sometimes the most experimental years of one’s life. A teenager becomes more curious about sexual activity, alcohol, drugs, and beauty; this is especially true for teenage women because they try to find ways to make their bodies look even more beautiful although there can be harmful effects in the end. These four curiosities alone can drive parents crazy, but there are some methods that parents can use to help cope with the hard times that parents and teenagers may go through during the teenage years. Stories like “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan can sometimes help us learn from their mistakes.

In class, we read and discussed “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan. This story is about a young girl named Jing-Mei who has a very controlling mother that wants her daughter to be just like many famous young actors of their time. So many things go on in this young ladies life, for example her mother takes her out to the beauty shop and makes her get a Shirley Temple hair cut, and in the end her mother hates the hair cut and then tells her daughter it looks awful, she says “you look like a Negro Chinese.” (468) she acted on this as if the child had done it on purpose. This adjustment in itself can affect the behavior of young men and young women because as they get older they may not care what their parents say and their children start to rebel against their parents leading to many dangerous paths.

The difference between my life and this story is that I was told as a child that I could do anything with my life that I wanted to do. I was never made into anything that I did not want to become. My dad always had the dream of me becoming an awesome soccer player because that is what my brother wanted to do but I had other plans. I wanted to become a dancer, and go to school for dance one day, and that is what I did and I am here today. This little girl did not have that chance, her mother ruled her life and she became what her mother wanted her to become.

A relationship is the key element in any mother daughter’s relationship. We see in this story that the mother is very controlling and that affects the daughter in many ways. Many children today do not have good relationship with their parent’s because of certain issues. These issue the child’s issues or the parents. Some parents may take control of their children like in “Two Kinds.” However, other situations are the children can control the parents. We see this every day on television such as MTV, with Teen Cribs. This is a show where the parents pretty much give their children anything and everything they want in life. As in “Two Kinds” sometimes the child can be so rambunctious that the parent cannot be in control of their child but the child controls the parent.

There are also many ways that parents can fix these types of situations, so these issues do not result into a problem. Parents are not supposed to be your best friend they are supposed to tell you what to do. Ways to fix this is to sit down and talk with your kids and lay down the rules and requirements that need to be dealt with. Others may have to take drastic measures and send their children off to get help because they cannot control them, such as boarding schools, military schools, religious schools, and even juvenile hall. If you teach your children at an early age to listen and be obedient then it will stick with them.

Your child should respect you and look up to you from an early age. Children know what they can and cannot do at an early age, but when children know they can get away with anything when it comes to the parents; they push the limit and don’t think about who they’re hurting in the long run. These kids have never been scolded, whipped, or said no to and know that their parents either do not care or care but do nothing about it.

As we grow older, we learn that our parents only told us what to do because they loved us and probably have gone through the same thing. I, for example, look back on my childhood as an adult now and think how my parents were doing me a favor and doing what was best for me. Knowing this now, I see why my parents treated me the way they did and disciplined me for doing things that I was told not to do. As a society, we can learn from stories like “Two Kinds. These stories can be eye opening for parents in the future, and how we raise our children, I hope to be a good parent one day and teach my kids the lessons my parents taught me.