My Past, Present, and Future

Hard life does not equal reason for failure, but reason for determination. Even though it may seem with so much bad you are bound to fail, with all of my bad I’m bound to succeed. I have been through a lot in life, just as every single mother but I still have what it takes for my future success. Do you have what it takes for a brighter future? The first reason I believe hard times give you determination, is because I had a hard childhood growing up.

Beginning with my father abusing my mother and he was never around, a mother who was struggling to figure out who she was and what she wanted in life, and how to take care of a teenager with so many bad experiences. My father was murdered in front of me and passed in my arms when I was seven years old. My only father figures I had left were my brothers who for their own reasons couldn’t be around much. I turned to alcohol at a young age thinking it would make my life better. I felt as if I was alone. I didn’t know I had people that would be there for me.

All I knew was my immediate family and my friends, which were not good influences. My mother had turned to alcohol as well and I was always home alone or with my uncle John. I never wanted to go to school; however, my uncle encouraged me to do so. I continued to attend school and did the best I thought I could. I got into skating thanks to my uncle and that is how I got rid of my stress if I had it. Uncle John always took me and my friends to the skating rink to enjoy time, just as a young child should. It made things better for me for awhile I had my father figure back again, but still needed my mom.

I was lost and had no guidance; so much had happened to me at such a young age and that affected my life because I believe no matter what happens you can’t erase your bad memories. My beliefs are stated by Sigmund Freud, he said “The world as we know it is stored in our conscious mind” (Witt & Mossler, 2010, Ch. 2, Pg. 2). Additionally, at age fifteen I was involved in a car accident that everyone including myself thought it ended my life. I was pronounced dead on scene yet revived. I was hospitalized for over a week and had to go though therapy to learn how to walk again.

My brain wasn’t coordinating with my legs. I broke five ribs, my lung collapsed, crushed my heel, burned my back, my scalp was avulsed, broken nose, and in general shaken up. I woke up to a paramedic by my side coaching me through my breathing and having faith in my ability to overcome anything. It just so happened with me that paramedic was my best friend’s father, Gene Deck. That’s when I got my mom back, and to this day she is always there for me and is my best friend. During that time I had also lost my brother who meant the world to me.

He was my role model and was everything to me. I would wait for him every day on the porch to arrive from work. He had been though a lot himself and had went to prison for a few years. He got out of prison and started his life over working in the oil fields, I still remember his smell. It was that time of year for our family reunion, we went camping every year. I remember waking up to his face at five in the morning and him asking me to go on the boat with him to check the trout lines, me at my age was upset about being woke up that early.

I pulled the blankets over my head and said “go away and leave me alone bubba”. Those were my last words to him, which is why I strongly believe you should make sure your words to your loved ones are that from the heart. He had gone out on the boat and it had a hole in it, my brother didn’t know how to swim. They found him late that night after searching all day at the bottom of the river tangled in seaweed. With all those experiences, I knew what I wanted to do as an adult, save lives. So I took it upon myself to try and get my life together and do what was right.

I had several inspirations for saving lives, from my life being saved to maybe I could have saved my brothers. I had so much encouragement in my heart now to move forward with my career choice in the future. For now, it was time to focus on finishing high school and being a good daughter so that my mom wouldn’t have to go through anymore pain. I focused on school and promised myself no matter what happened in life I would return the favor given to me from the man upstairs, with a second chance given to me I would help saving lives.

It is thanks to God that I am alive today, and for the rest of my life I will thank him every day. I may not be one of those people who go to church every day, but I do know my life is held in the hands of a man that I owe my life to. At age seventeen I ended up being getting in another relationship that I thought would last forever and we decided to have a child. I ended up having too many medical problems and had to drop out of school. I was determined to keep my promise. I set out to get my G. E. D and started running with the Emergency Medical Service in my town as a rider.

I then became part of the EMS family as a driver. They paid to put me through school to become an Emergency Medical Technician. I decided that wasn’t enough and started school with a technical school to become a National Registered Certified Medical Assistant. My first born son gave me more inspiration to better myself in life. He was the reason of my existence and the reason I to this day work very hard at everything I do to succeed in life. I named him after my brother that had passed, Keith. I now have four beautiful boys, still have my two certifications, and now attending college working towards a degree.

Every day I remember lucky I am to be here and how much I have to be thankful for in life. My fiance Sean is another one of my inspirations. He stays on my case constantly about school and making sure I do what is right. I have everything I need in life to be inspired and achieve my life term goals. I believe that you need three things in life to achieve your goals, a belief system, persistence, and patience. Several things can happen to you in life. It’s a matter of how you overcome what has happened and how you move forward.

Although, you may want to just give up and feel you have been through enough in life and you don’t want to put yourself through any more. You need to reconsider, because that is just your way of “justifying your thoughts or behavior”, called rationalization which is a type of defense mechanism from Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory (Witt & Mossler, 2010, Ch. 2, Pg. 2). Make sure you stay focused on your goal or goals and what lies ahead of you. Always look toward the future and never look back, you will always remember but let it be a , and the strength you need to move forward.

There is nothing better in life than looking back on all you have been through, and then looking at what you have to this day. The best thing is looking at what lies ahead of you and your future of success! Indeed, while some may say a bad past can get the best of you, it’s important to stay focused and determined. I will continue to move forward with my education and become successful. Just remember one thing; you are in control of your life, your attitude, and your actions. You can’t change your past, but, you can change your future!