My extraordinary leadership lessons from an ordinary experience
When I was at grade school, I placed special reverence to teachers. I specially admire their power over their students: the way they make them seated properly in their designated seating arrangements, the way they let them enter and leave the room in a file and the simple way of making each student to greet them even outside the school campus. There were times when I also dreamed of being a teacher when I finished school for one good reason: I wanted to lead.
As I grew older, I have learned that teaching profession is not as easy as what I thought it was. As a joined school and community activities, I have learned that holding positions in organizations makes a lot of sense in terms of leadership training. I also learned that leading does not always take intelligence, energy and time and that being a leader does not in anyway make anyone greater than the ones being led. Leadership rather takes the whole personality of a person, including his heart, his mind and his soul.
Leadership is not all about power; it’s about love and concern. With this ordinary experience, I will prove that the leader and the follower in its sense are ordinary participants in the game of life where everyone is regarded equal. My experience will prove that by being a protégé, one will be able to prepare himself to be a good leader someday.
I was raised in a conservative family; conservative in a sense that my family has countless rules and regulations set for us children. When it’s a rule, conformity has to be no more, no less. At home, the power lies in the hands of my strict father. House rule says no one has to be outside the house when it’s already dark. House rules say everyone has to around the table when it’s dinner time, no talking, and most of all, eat whatever food is prepared.
When my father says “you’re wrong”, don’t dare to question his judgment and don’t ever dare to speak a word to explain and to defend yourself. Until I entered high school, there’s nothing I know about leadership but power. I studied really hard because father wants me to have good grades. So no one can blame me if I see leadership as having the power to make others fear you. Not until I was asked to join a stage play and have the courage to try, that these views on leadership have all changed.
The organizers were meticulously picking the players. Actors and actresses were selected from different levels and when the final list came out, I was really glad to find my name there. But no, I was not one of the stage actresses. I will be part of the play as the narrator, and yes, I chose to play that part. It may sound really weird for some because people often desire to be at the lime light. It is but common for anyone to grab the opportunity of having his or her abilities and talents be shown to many. If there be exemption to this common life scene, I am an exemption. I chose to stay behind the stage because I am afraid to ruin the presentation in the event that I forget my lines.
My family training developed me into a well-behaved individual, but it also deprived me of learning how it is to be outside my own home. I was locked in the house all so I was not able to develop my social skills. I was raised to be a loner, and so I lived that kind of life until I entered high school. My family training deprived me of the opportunity to gain self-confidence.
That is maybe the reason why I chose to be behind the scenes of the stage play. What made me choose to play as a narrator is my stage fright. I lack the confidence of bringing myself in front of many people. I hate being in a place where I am noticeable. I am weird, they say. Yes, I am. I am afraid to make a mistake, so I chose to just narrate since I have something in my hand to read.
During rehearsals, I often got insulted by the trainor for my poor diction. There were many times when I was threatened to be replaced by someone who could do better than I do. Few days have passed and yet the trainor still told me I have not yet improved. I felt like I am the least performer in group. I have the least coaching time while I had the most naggings and silly words swallowed during the practice. I was then planning to quit but I was halted by the thought that my father would not surely like the idea of his daughter giving up. I have to continue, I have to strive more. I have to make sure my trainer will not replace me when he got fed up of nagging at me.
One rehearsal session made all things in my mind changed. The trainer gathered all the stage play participants, including the support group. He has to make some announcements on some little changes on the script and on the planned stage set-up. We were all gathered in the gym, with the trainer’s microphone as loud and clear so that anyone will surely hear what he has to say. He asked the group to make the best of every session as the play is as important as the name of the school.
We have to make sure that everything will turn out fine and excellent in the night of the performance. He told the main characters that they are the one who will face the audience and should therefore have the assurance of performing very well. He told the support group that even if they only play as backgrounders, they are great contributors to the success of the presentation. He said the play will not be as beautiful as it is supposed to be when the facilities, especially the sounds and the lights are not properly set-up.
He then called me up and said that I am holding an important role in the play. He said that as the narrator, I am the one who will bring life to the scenes that are not to be played on stage but are important in bringing out the essence of the story. He told me that I am not in anyway the least of the group because I have in my hands the responsibility of connecting every scene in the play. I am, in its essence the light of the dark spots in the story.
WHAT I HAVE DISCOVERED ABOUT MYSELF
My energy from that day seemed to have been refueled. I strived really hard by reading my lines over and over again, day and night. I realized that I am not in anyway the least of the group, nor I am to let myself be the least performer. My life has never been this busy and meaningful until I started gaining my self-confidence. To believe in yourself in not what others call pride but it is a thing that I believe a personal need. I have learned that everyone has his own talent, ability and skill that is innate in him. That precious thing in a person just needs to be discovered and be used to meaningful activities.
HOW THE EXPERIENCE STRENGTHENED MY SELF-LEADERSHIP SKILLS
I have learned that every person has a unique way of discovering his abilities. Some just naturally show up. There are some that need to be tapped, some need digging up, and there are those which require pain and suffering before their talents are squeezed up. Having these facts, I have learned that mentors, teachers, trainers and anyone who manage people have their own style of handling things. If they choose to be generous and considerate, they have all good reasons of doing so.
If mentors choose to be strict and display their strong personalities, they all the valid reasons to do so. What I have most importantly learned in my experience is that teachers, mentors and even parents all wanted their students, their subordinated and their children to learn the vital lessons of life: that is, to bring out the best out of them.
I have realized that my trainer chose to be too strict to me because he wanted me to strive harder. He did not mean to frighten me, not he did want to make me feel that he did not like me. Since that day, my trainer eventually noticed and commended the improvements on my performance. He told me that I have already gained the confidence that he long been wanting me to bring out. He told me that loners like me are not at all hard to handle. Like him, loners need encouragement like what he did.
HOW THE EXPERIENCE IMPROVED MY INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Since the school play, I have not yet had the guts of joining activities which require a lot of public exposure. I did join more activities and have chosen the same roles. I did so not because I was not able to learn and apply what my trainer have taught us. It is because I have learned that leadership need not to be as publicly done as many think it is. I have learned fro, that experience that leadership is not all about taking a post, having an official designation and handling people.
I have learned that leadership begins when one was able to conquer his fears in life. Leadership begins by leading your own life and let others see the difference when you come out of your own shell. I have learned that extraordinary lessons in life are learned by paying attention to little things in ordinary life experiences. When one has to learn, he has to experience pain and sufferings before glory comes in his hands. My journey in life did not go that smooth and easy. It took me to endure insults and discouragements. But all of these are part of training and I believe, every tear shed and every sweat that comes out of my body is worth the lessons of leadership.
AN EVALUATION OF MY PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
After the activity, I have never been a loner. I still did not have the guts of doing public appearances but I did improve on handling people who work as supports. It was not because this is all I can do but because I chose to do it, and this is what makes me happy. I feel that by doing so, I am able to give my best and that in this area where my talents and skills are best utilized.
HOW THE EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN A VALUABLE EXPERIENCE TO ME
Now I understand why my father has to lock us up in the house all day long during weekends. Now I understand why we have to behave well during dinner. Now I understand why I have to bring out my books and notes even after school and at night after meal. Now I understand why father deprived us of reasoning out at him. Like all parents, father wants us his children to be raised as well-behaved individuals. He just wants us to learn that childhood life is not all about eating and playing matters.
He has been this strict because he wanted to show us the realities of life. Sometimes, it really takes to deprive someone of common and ordinary things in order to gain the extraordinary lessons of life. By my father’s way of training us, I have learned that leadership is not all about fear, but obedience. Leadership is not all about power, but respect. If they have not handled me this way, I am afraid that I was not able to reach my status in life now. The experience has been a valuable event in my life that whatever life takes me, I will surely look back to the time when I was in that time of my life, trying to grasp the valuable lessons of life.
