Mother Knows Best
Mother Knows Best There is a quote that says, “ are angels who teach their children to fly. ” Indeed mothers are angels, even though we often think that mothers were meant to torture us especially in our adolescent years when we would rather go out with friends instead of washing the dishes or doing our homework, our mothers nevertheless become our pillar, not just of faith but also of strength. Mothers may often be misunderstood but it does not mean that they don’t know best.
My earliest memory of my mother is that of a radiant face. For me she was the most beautiful woman alive and nothing compares with her. Even if she was unlike the celebrity mothers who wear designer clothes or gets to eat in fancy restaurants all the time, my mother is, in other words, real. My mother seemed to be passive and quiet however she was a formidable foe if you cross her. I loved the way she combed her hair getting ready for bed, letting those deep brown locks loose, shiny against the glare of the overhead light.
I loved the way she would caringly wipe my back for perspiration after playing under the hot sun all afternoon not minding the fact that I smelled like a sweaty sock worn for two weeks. On the incidents that my sibling and I cross my mother, those big green eyes of her would squint in disapproval, mouth pursed. But I came to love that about her. Even if I was born seven years after my brother, this never prompted her to play favorites. But rather, she made it a point to be fair and equal among her children.
Whenever I commit a mistake, Mom would not hesitate to point it out to me, punish me if needed. Sometimes, I detested it but over time I came to realize that Mom did that because she only has the best interest at heart. However, she was not one to hold grudges for long. Like most mothers, she is very protective of me that often times I resented her for being so. I did not understand why she has to constantly ask about my whereabouts: who I am going with and where I was going. It never occurred to me that this was an essential part of being a mother.
A mother cares and worries for her children. Mother taught me that getting reprimanded does not mean that she loves me less. On the contrary, she showed me that when she scolds me, it means that she cares for me and worries about me. Mother has certainly her own flaws but I have come to accept, in fact love every bit of them. When mom starts to call or page me non-stop, it is either she misses me or she needs something or I have irked her again. Some may call it nagging, I call it loving. For a person to wear her heart on her sleeves is a vulnerable thing, but mother is not vulnerable at all.
In fact she is admirably strong. She never backs off in a fight especially if she knows she is right but she also knows how to compromise too. But compromising for her does not mean that you are wrong. Comprising is just another way of getting things done, later. When I started school, mom was my friend. To me, school was a world where strangers and bad guys lurk. Instead of laughing at my fears, mom showed me instead how great school can be. On my first day of school, she prepared my favorite snacks drove me school.
Instead of leaving me at the gates, she got off the golf cart, knelt down and tenderly cupped my face in both hands and told me, “Don’t worry honey, there isn’t any bad guys today, Mommy made them go away. ” Although these words are pretty naive, but to a child on his first day of school, these words were more than enough to let him conquer his fears. I went to school that day knowing that Mom was there for me and I learned to enjoy school. I made new friends and introduced them to Mom who was more than happy to serve us hot cookies and milk for snacks.
Although my mother was not able to achieve her goal of becoming getting a college degree, this never made her bitter but rather she motivated us to pursue our own education and goals in life. She taught us early on that education is very important that is why she never fails to motivate us in school. I know my mother is not perfect. She is only human thus has her own flaws too. But for me, these flaws are tiny imperfections that make her all the more lovable and perfect. These flaws are just evidences of her humanity. Mother is an angel who teaches us to fly and dream.
Like Mother, Like Daughter
A lot of people assume that one’s daughter is a lot like their mother, and a lot of times that is true, in some aspects. I can tell you that my wisdom and common sense came from my mom. My sense of humor, my laugh, my eyes, and my strength also came from my mom. My mom is the reason I have chosen the career path I have chosen. So, I have a lot of traits in resemblance of my mom, the only trait I lack is her addiction.
Growing up I imagined my life to be perfect, as I guess all children usually do.But as the years went on, I slowly began to realize that my life was far from perfect. At eight years old, my parents split up and I was forced to move to the DFW Metropolis to live with my grandparents. Living there I began to realize that my mother wasn’t who I thought she was. She was hardly ever home, her and my grandmother were fighting continuously when I had always known of them to be the best of friends. The fighting escalated more and more, year after year until finally my mom had enough and we left.I was in fifth grade at the time attending a middle school in the area and my mom and I had left my comfort zone to move in with her friend from work, which was probably the worst decision ever made.
While living there I found out that my mom was an alcoholic. Her absence started to occur more often. I would spend my nights lying wide awake in bed waiting for her to get home from where ever she spent her nights; I would call her over and over again until she answered the phone and told me she was on her way back home. I had discovered my mom was far from perfect and so was my life.After a disagreement occurred between my mom and her friend, we were on the move once again. This time we actually got our own place, a one bedroom apartment further away from my grandparents. I was forced to change schools, my first year in middle school.
The apartments we lived in were located right behind the school, which was a huge convenience to my mom considering she no longer had to wake up early in the morning to take me to school, this way I could just walk. Living alone with my mother was a fearful life for such a young kid.I never knew what was going to happen. There was always people over late at night, my mom and her friends would lock themselves in her room for hours and not even bother to let me come in with the sound of a knock. I was invisible to her. I would wake up in the mornings with her past out on the couch, surrounded my empty beer and liquor bottles, the house reeked of a skunk odor, and there were pipes on the end tables of the couch. I spent my mornings cleaning up after my mother in fear of someone finding out what I was living with and taking me away.
Little did I know, no matter what I did, sooner or later I would be taken away. One night in November, 2003 my mom had taken me over to her friend’s house for dinner. While upstairs watching television, I heard my mom call up to me telling me that we’re leaving. As I walked down stairs I saw that my mom was crying when she walked out the door, whenever I followed her outside she was on the ground convulsing in to an epileptic seizure. The cops and ambulance were called and they had found prescription pills in her purse that were not made out to her and accused her of taking them.After my mom went to the hospital my aunt came and got me and I spent the night with her. The next morning after I woke up, my grandparents were over at my aunt’s house.
Everyone, excluding my mom was sitting around the kitchen table talking. As I entered the room they all got quiet and my grandma had asked me to sit down. My grandmother then asked me how I would like to come back and live with them. I was confused. She had not mentioned my mother coming back just me. So, I asked. “What about my mom? ” She answered me.
“Your mother can no longer take care of you.She is sick and needs to get help. ” For some strange reason at twelve years old, I understood exactly what she was talking about. I accepted the offer and by that night, I was back at my grandparent’s house. Living with my grandparents made me feel more at ease, I was put back in to my original schools with my original friends and I still got to see my mother here and there. Seeing here every once and a while made me believe she was better. She was happy when I saw her, she wasn’t so upset, she looked beautiful all the time, and she looked like my mother.
But all of that was a show. By the time I was in the eighth grade, my mother had slowly became a stranger in my life and when I found out she was arrested and charged a year and a half in prison due to drug charges, my mother was no one in my life. I got letters pretty frequently from her, asking how school was, telling me how sorry she was to have put me through what she did, explaining to me her passion for God that she had picked up on while being locked away, but no matter how many letters she wrote to me, I could never find it in me to respond.By the time I received her tenth letter or so, I was tired of getting them. I finally wrote her. I wrote her a one paged, short and sweet letter, explaining to her that I was fine and so was everyone else, I told her school was good, and I answered all of her questions she had written me in her previous letters. Then, I went on to say that I no longer wanted any contact with her until she grew up and realized how to be a mom.
That was the first and only time I spoke to my mom while being in jail.After a year and a half went by and my mom got out, I was already a freshman in high school and living my life with no worries. I did see her on the day she was released, I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her that I loved her and always would but my mind had still not changed. That was the day she informed me that I had my mothers attitude. “Like mother, like daughter” she said and I cringed at the though of being like her. My mom had decided on her own, without a judge or a probation officer forcing her to do so, to move in to a sober living home.Of course I was proud of her and happy for her, but I was not getting too excited due to the face that I was not convinced she was sober.
It wasn’t until her one year sobriety celebration that I realized this was the real deal this time. My grandparents were slowly, but surely forgiving my mother for what she had done, and so was I. A year went by and my mother stayed sober, two years went by and my mother was still sober, a few months before her third year of sobriety my mom had asked if I would do her the honors by giving her, her third year sobriety chip.I was stunned at the thought, horrified to say the least. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I accepted and I am more than happy today that I did so. I wrote a little speech for that night, and when I stepped up on to the platform and stood in front of the microphone, looking out at all the addicts, seeing my mom looking up at me, I then realized that I finally had my mother back. I took a deep breath and I started to speak and I broke down in to sobbing tears.
I finally got control of myself and started to speak and simply spoke out two sentences, “Three ears ago today, I lost my mother to drugs and alcohol.But I am happy to say that not only do I have my mom back, I have my best friend back. ” I would proudly say I am just like my mother today. I would go on to explain that I share the same compassion, strength, courage and wisdom as my mother does. I do not cringe at the comment of “like mother, like daughter”, I accept it and cherish it because I now idol my mom. I had a rough childhood, and even a rough beginning into adulthood, but I can honestly say that I would not change a thing that has happened to me.
Mother in law
Ever since ancient times, the relationship between a married woman and her mother-in-law has often been the butt of many jokes. Mother-in-laws generally view their daughters-in-law with suspicion and are not able to tolerate their mistakes. Is there a psychological explanation for the mother-in-law type of behavior?
The mother might have an overwhelming sense of responsibility for her son. She might be a woman with no clear boundaries. She allows her son to be the focal point of her life and does not have a clear understanding of his life. Such a woman will often be an unwelcome intruder into her son’s life. There are other mother-in-laws who have the unnatural fear of losing their relationship with their son. A mother with this fear works hard at being what her son needs her to be. This makes her less honest and fearful.
There are other mothers who think it’s their duty to protect their son from other bad people and sometimes, this might even include his father. This gives her a false sense of importance. There are women who never outgrow the idea that their son is a grown up man now. Such women tend to be over possessive mothers in law who continue to baby their son and even smother him with sweetness whether he likes it or not (Sadasivan, 2006). These abnormal traits in a mother in law can lead to conflicts with the daughter in law.
It is possible that an aggressive mother-in-law who has difficulty in coping with her son’s wife may be suffering from Sons Detachment Disorder (SDD). The mother finds it difficult to detach herself from her son and allow him to live and independent life. Because of this attachment, she feels the need to control her daughter-in-law and any resistance by her is viewed with hatred and anger. Control, hate, and anger are the three main qualities of this disorder.
Every human being desires freedom and in any relationship the threat to freedom is the greatest danger. In the case of mothers-in-law, there is a desire to control and this affects the freedom of the younger ones. When there is an overwhelming desire to control, mothers are not willing to let go of their sons even when they get married. Mothers try to make decisions for their sons even after their marriages and control them by keeping track of their expenditure patterns, where they are going, what they are wearing and advising them even in matters such as where to buy a house.
Many mothers feel more in control when they are able to predict the behavior of others and when others meet their expectations. Hatred and anger are often signs of insecurity. Here, the mothers might have a feeling that their sons are leaving them for another woman and this arouses a lot of hatred and anger towards her son’s wife. This is more compounded when the mother in law also happens to be a widow. Such anger and hatred can cause destruction not only to their sons and wives but also to her.
Sometimes, the problem may lie with a daughter-in-law’s perception of her mother in law. When a woman gets married, she needs to cope with a new family with new rules. She often fears her mother in law even before knowing her because of her exposure to the image of a mother in law as evil personified in the media. A mother-in-law is often depicted as a dragon personified in TV serials and novels.
Due to this stereotyping of mother-in-laws, the son’s wife enters her new life with a lot of doubt, anxiety and worry. In this case, even a small remark by her mother-in-law will be seen in an enlarged dimension. She might be so wary of her that she does not communicate much with her mother-in-law. This can lead to a huge gap between the two women and lead to mother-in-law based conflicts. In this case it’s easy for the mother in law to judge her incommunicative daughter in law as a careless and destructive person.
Another reason contributing to this conflict is that the mother in law might be too dependent on her son for her self-esteem needs. She needs him so that she might get a sense of importance. When she sees her son beginning to rely more on his wife, she feels upset and might start feigning sickness just to get the immediate attention from her son.
Apart from the reasons cited above there might also be the case of mothers-in-law hating their daughters-in-law due to their personal reluctance to accept another woman into the household. There are likely to be differences based on status, education, age and culture between a married woman and her mother in law. These differences might make the connection between the two women more difficult.
However, no problem is so complex that it cannot be solved. Every relationship needs some time, patience and understanding and trust to develop. Once developed, it’s possible that the two most important women in a man’s life might become the best of friends.
Source:
Sadasivan, Padma (2006). The Mother-in-Law – Daughter-in-Law Syndrome. http://www.womenexcel.com/relati
A Mothers Love: Summary
Nothing comes close to having love that a mother haves for her children. Most women are great mothers to their children. Women that carry their children before they are born and then continue to take care them throughout their childhood and even into adulthood. Moms make sure that their children are safe and happy through their childhood. It is the unconditional love that a mother feels for her children that drives these feelings. It is hard to describe the feeling that a mom has towards her children. Most people don’t understand this love unless they are mothers themselves.
Raising a child comes with a lot of frustrations, starting the needy new born baby that needs regular care to a teenager, a mother’s job is everything but easy. A famous saying states that “God could not be everywhere and so he invented mothers”, these words are an inspiration to mothers all across the world. A mother puts her children before anything else, including their own comfort and happiness. Mothers give alot of support to their child, whether it is visible support or background encouragement. Not only do mothers support their children, but they hold the whole family structure together.
This role is not always plain sailing. Mother’s can also be mad or hurt. Mother’s often takes the fallout for the toddler tantrums and the teenage angst. Despite this, mothers will love their children no matter what they do. Mothers were meant to be the cheerleaders for their children, sometimes in loud and visible ways, sometimes in unspoken way in the background. Mothers can often be the backbone of families. A mother’s job is not always the easiest one. Moms have to make sacrifices and can also have their hearts broken.
The great thing about mothers is that they usually understand and love their kids in all ways. Every year there is a day set aside to celebrate the role of a mother. This day is called Mother’s Day. This day is a good opportunity for children of all ages to show their appreciation for the work of a mother. Every year there is one special day put aside for mothers. What else could it be called but “Mothers Day. “? This is the day that their sons and daughters who are grown make the long distance calls or take their moms out for dinner. Mother’s Day is a special day when mom gets the flowers she deserves.
Mother’s Day is a day when children stop and say thank you to mom for all she has done over the years. Young children make mothers homemade cards that bring tears to mother’s eyes and make her realize that it is all worth it. Describing a mother’s love is impossible. It is a feeling that can only be understood by those who are mother’s. In time, a mother’s daughters will grow up to be mothers themselves. Never underestimate what a mother has over a child. It may not always seem this way, but children look to their mother for guidance on how they should deal with certain situations in everyday life.
On the rare occasions that a mother is unable to look after their children, maybe through illness or death, it can have a tragic impact on the life of the children. Mothers have incredible power over their children that they must be respected. It is a tragedy for a child when the mother is not someone who looks after the child properly. It is a tragedy when a child or children lose their mother’s at a young age. Official Essay A Mother’s Love Nothing can come close to the love that a mother feels for her children. Most women are inherently excellent mothers.
Women carry their young before they are born and then continue to nurture them throughout their childhood and even into adulthood. Mothers make sure that their children are safe and happy throughout their childhood. It is the unconditional love that a mother feels that drives these feelings. It is hard to describe the feeling that a mother has towards her children. In fact, most people do not understand unless they become a mother themselves. Raising children comes with its own share of frustrations, from the needy new born baby that requires regular care to the sullen teenager, a mother’s job is anything but easy.
A famous saying states that “God could not be everywhere and so he invented mothers”, these words are a great inspiration to mothers across the world. When all is well, a mother puts her children before anything else, including their own comfort and happiness. Mothers give an awful lot of support to their children, whether it involves very visible support or simple background encouragement. Not only do mothers support their children, but they also often hold the whole family structure together. This role is not always plain sailing. A mother can also be upset or hurt.
Remember that a mother often takes the fallout for the toddler tantrums and the teenage angst. Despite this, mothers, generally, will love their children no matter what they do. Mothers are meant to be the cheerleaders of their kids, sometimes in loud and visible ways, sometimes in sublet or unspoken ways in the background. Mothers are often the backbone of families. Mother’s job is not always an easy one. Mothers have to make sacrifices. Mothers can have their hearts broken. Mothers must be the conscience of young children and are often the brunt of their anger and pain as they grow into adulthood.
The great thing about mothers is that they usually understand and love their kids anyways. Every year there is a day set aside to celebrate the role of a mother. Unsurprisingly, the day is called Mother’s Day. This day is a great opportunity for children of all ages to show their appreciation for the work of a mother. Gifts and cards, often handmade with care, are given as a sign of love. Every year there is one special day put aside for mothers. What else could it be called but “Mothers Day. “? This is the day that sons and daughters who are grown make the long distance calls or take their moms out for dinner.
Mother’s Day is a special day when mom gets the flowers she deserves. Mother’s Day is a day when children stop and say thank you to mom for all she has done over the years. Young children make mothers homemade cards that bring tears to mother’s eyes and make her realize that it is all worth it. Describing a mother’s love is virtually impossible. It is a feeling that can only truly be understood by those that experience it. In time, a mother’s daughters will grow up to be mothers themselves. Never underestimate the influence that a mother has over a child.
It may not always appear this way, but children look to their mother for guidance on how they should deal with situations. On the rare occasions that a mother is unable to look after their children, maybe through illness or death, it can have a tragic impact on the life of the children. Mothers have incredible power over their children that they must be respect. It is a tragedy for a child when the mother is not someone who looks after the child properly. It is a tragedy when a child or children lose their mother’s at a young age.