Lack of Discipline in Children

Lack of Discipline in Children ENG 101 Evelyn Hill January 28, 2013 Walk into any public and look around; what do you see? Most people would say; products, people, families, and children. Next, watch some of the children for just a minute and listen to them. There are probably some children playing hide and seek from their parents in the racks of cloths, others are opening the packages of toys, and of course, there’s the one child who is screaming all through the store because his mom told him he couldn’t have something he wanted.

Don’t worry, that will soon cease when mom gets tired of hearing the screaming and will give in. This is just an example of public places almost anywhere in the United States; children pitching a fit because they don’t get what they want. While all children pitch fits at some point in their young lives, they also need to be taught that it is not appropriate behavior. We need to discipline our children so they have the knowledge and skills to act in accordance with the rules of society.

While only a few years ago many families had the luxury to only need one income in a household, things have changed and it’s no longer feasible for only one parent to work. This change in the economy has led to an increase of children being left with a babysitter or put in a child care facility. I see many children in the center that I work at, who are at school for ten to twelve hours a day. This is leaving a parents job up to a teacher of six to twenty-five children, discipline included.

I’m hoping that my paper will offer some insight to parents who are looking for ways to discipline their child without much of the screaming, fighting, frustration, and physical and mental issues that may attach with the use of corporal punishment. Discipline is the structure that helps a child fit into society happily and effectively; key words being structure. Children need structure whether they are at home or in day care, this enables children to know when and where it is appropriate to play and be loud. With this being said, there are several ways in which a parent can teach a child appropriate behavior.

First of all, discipline should always be given by an adult in whom the child has a bond. Discipline should always be consistent as well. Allowing a child to get away with opening a toy in a store without purchasing the item first, after the child was disciplined for the same thing before, only confuses the child. Next, the child should think the discipline is fair and it should not be something that you as the parent cannot hold your word. For example, many children will not think that getting a pking is fair, nor would they think be grounded for a month would be fair.

Telling a child they are grounded for a month is not a reasonable punishment because parents forget or they get tired of hearing the child whine about being grounded and give up. Lastly, discipline should be close to the time of the undesired behavior, meaning, if a child was hitting another child on the playground, the parent should take care of it as soon as possible, not hours after because the child may remember the behavior or remember why they were hitting. In my experience, the best way to discipline a child is by simply talking to them.

Children respond much better when an adult talks to them about misbehavior than they do if they are being yelled at. Yelling at a child causes resentment towards the adult which will later cause more undesired behavior. I usually ask the child what he was doing, if he thinks that behavior is appropriate, and what he can do to fix it. Children usually have pretty good ideas of their own as far as what they think is fair where discipline is concerned. If there is the situation in which the child is really upset or I can feel myself getting frustrated, I call for a five minute time out for both of us.

I have the child sit down and I walk away, when we are both ready to talk again we do. Children need to know that rules are established so that they can learn to live cooperatively with others, so they can learn right from wrong, and to protect them from harm. Without rules and consequences to these rules children never learn how to act in accordance to the rules of society. It’s not easy disciplining a child nor is there a quick fix to behavior problems, but even two parents who work twelve hours a day can deter many behavioral issues by simply talking to their children.

Children need structure at home just as much as they do at school, without it, children are lost; they are confused about when and where it is okay to play and be loud. Discipline needs to be given by an adult whom the child trusts and loves and it should be seen as “fair” by the child, discipline should be consistent and close to the time of the undesired behavior, and lastly, children need to understand that discipline is only to keep them safe. I am confident that any parent who takes the time to talk to their children about the child’s mistakes will have a much better behaved child.