Gender Non-Conformity

Most parent think when they see their son playing dolls and having delights with fashion has tendency to become a gay and so with girls who are mostly fun of playing ballgames with boys has the possibility to become a lesbian when they grow older.

The American society assumed that there are only two sex preferences, male and female. Sex refers to whether male or female, feminine of masculine. Gender sometimes is closely interchange with sex. This is the misconception our society had. Though gender is related to sex but both have distinct visibility. We have the so called low and high masculinity and vise versa on females. Boys who do what girls usually do such as, cleaning the house, cooking, doing the laundry, belong to the low class masculine and boys who are irritated with a girl thing, do not even wash their own underwear or even fix their bed belong to the high masculinity and vise versa with girls. But this doesn’t mean that those who are in the low masculinity are said to be gays, only that they can live by themselves.

The question why parents are more accepting of a daughter exhibiting a liking for truck and sports rather than a son exhibiting a liking for playing dolls and cooking is that parents are more centered to a son’s development rather than a daughter’s. It is because of the “man” identity. A boy when he grows older must be strong, straight, focus and a builder. He has to support and protect his family. Girls are very meticulous, gentle, caring and etc. A mother, who sees her daughter playing sports with boys, doing hard chores that are intended for boys may feel more comfortable believing that her child is strong and capable of doing things in both genders.  Aside from that, gays are very expressive. They want to feel like a woman who is too awkward to look at rather that a girl wearing jeans and loose shirts.

According to Throckmorton, a psychology professor at Grove City College, Pennsylvania, “people who don’t conform with gender norms are like homosexual. According to the study, children who grow up to be heterosexual typically go through a stage where they perceive the opposite sex as different from themselves, or exotic, and eventually transition into seeing members of the opposite sex as erotic. If a child is gender non-conforming, then he or she is likely to perceive members of the same sex as different from themselves, and eventually develop an erotic attraction to members of the same sex later in life. He also stated that parents should avoid the mindset that if their son doesn’t have any interest in baseball that there is something wrong with him. (Lee, 2006)

The negative responses to the expressions of non-traditional gender behavior in young males are functional in the society. It is very obvious that there is discrimination and abuse. Gays and lesbians are fighting for their rights until these days. This negative expression greatly affects on young boys. Acceptance for non-conformity of gender among boys is rarely seen in our society. Good for those who belong to a family that support him whatever and whoever he may be.

There are many reasons to encourage a full range of gendered behavior in sons and daughters. One of this is role modeling. We should always remember that children learn from what you are and not what you say. Your own practice is always the greatest influence. This is the most basic responsibility of the parents.

The greatest parenting challenge lies in being responsible for guiding, teaching, and urging your child toward his best self-which includes the need to notice his mistakes and help him correct them- while simultaneously accepting and loving him as he exist now, before his faults are rectified. (Bobbie Sandoz)

Reference:

1. Psychological, Anthropological and Sociological Foundations of Education, Alicia S. Bustos, Socorro c. Espiritu; Katha Publishing Co., Inc. 1996
2. The language of Parenting’ Blue Mountain Press;SPS Studios, Inc., 2001
3. http://www.southernvoice.com/2006/4-7/news/national/gender.cfm
4. http://cjwww.csustan.edu/hatecrimes/99/anti-gay/anti-gay%20web.html
5. http://www.lambda.org/youth_suicide.htm
6. http://www.southernvoice.com/2006/4-7/news/national/gender.cfm
7. http://www.youth-suicide.com/gay-bisexual/construction/6-gay-youth-suicide-feminine-males.htm