Distingusih Between Assertive and Submissive Style of Communication

Distinguish between assertive and submissive style of communication What are assertive and submissive styles of communication? Assertive communication is a way of acting that does not make the people to hurt physically or emotionally. In addition, it allows us to declare our own rights and the rights of others. We are able to show our feelings, wants and needs openly. When we communicate with other people, we are open to listening their feelings or needs as well as are willing to compromise. Thus, it consists of strong self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence.

Submissive communication is a passive action that is self-denying and not searching for achieving goals. Moreover, it does not express needs, wants, opinions or feelings and then it always avoids conflict even though it is discomfortable. When we fail to communicate our concerns or hesitations, other people will not know how we feel or will misinterpret our actions. There are two differences between assertive and submissive style of communication such as behaviors and responses. To begin with, behavior is a difference of these communications.

This is because assertive behavior is to pretend in a sense, which is neither passive nor aggressive. It demonstrates honest, self-confident and direct communication. When we are able to behave as an assertive person, we will express and use direct ways, which respect the feeling of the other people. For example, while you and your friend discuss about the assignment, you listen what your friend want to say first and then you give feedback honestly what it should be or not. Submissive behavior gives the priority to the other and is afraid of meeting conflict.

It allows others to dictate to them, denies their rights and ignores the needs. In group projects, some group members take one task of their projects. Then, only one person needs to take two tasks of the projects but he has to do another project. Nevertheless, he does not refuse the tasks to take. And then he does not express the feeling that is not comfortable. Response is a kind of verbal and non-verbal interaction between the speaker and the listener. A basic assertive response may involve a simple request such as “You can help me how to calculate the equation”.

But using “I” statement is not simply response to other people ‘s statement. For example, “I like the way you handled this project” or “I feel good when you accept my opinion”. In submissiveness, its response can encourage treatment that reinforces a passive role. While the underlying causes of passive responding are often poor self-confident and self-esteem, passive responding itself can serve to further reduce the feelings of self-worth. For instance, if a submissive person may tend to have poor eye contact that he has trouble looking others in the eye.

He does not use any gestures when he is talking with someone as well as he doesn’t show much expression on his face. If he does responses an expression, it’s probably a constant smile or a blank look. In conclusion, behaviors and responses are the ways of acting in communication. We do need to be careful in using behaviors and responses as some of these actions will lead to bad attitude. We will apply suitable behaviors and responses in appropriate situation. I think that using assertive style can get successful in life because it is not anxious to face good things or bad things.

However, submissive communication cannot achieve the goals hopping in the mind owing to the fact that it fears to experience an unmet thing. References Harris, G. (2011). The difference between Passive, Aggressive and Assertive Communication. The Recovering Engineer. Retrieved on March 19, 2013, from http://recoveringengineer. com/2011/10/ Changing Minds. (n. d. ). Submissive Behavior. Retrieved on March 20, 2013, from http://changingminds. org/techniques/assertiveness/submissive_behavior. htm