Annoying Shoppers

Johnny Bullock English 104 Bowman December 5, 2012 Annoying Shoppers Grocery shopping can be a very interesting experience. It seems like nothing more than a quick and easy chore at first. You go in, throw whatever you want into your cart, pay and then get out. Its almost relaxing, that is if the grocery store is completely empty. Unfortunately, there are always those other shoppers. The ones who think they own the place or something. They’re in just about every grocery store in America. You know who I’m talking about, that one parent- usually a mom- with a kid who just so happens to be screaming bloody murder.

Also, everyone knows a bad cart driver when they see one, not to mention the label readers. And finally, probably the worst of them all, the Couponers. If you’re like me and you like to get your grocery shopping done as fast and productive as possible, these four shoppers are your worst enemies. Imagine yourself going to the grocery store. You drive into the parking lot, circle around for a minute or so just to find that perfect spot as close to the front door as possible. You gather the things you need: grocery list, phone, money, credit cards etc, and exit your car.

As you walk by the automatic doors to go get a cart, the doors open and that’s when you hear it. That ear piercing, glass breaking, nails-on-a-chalkboard howl that comes from a small child no taller than your knee. As the screaming stops- only for an instant as the heathen catches its breath- and starts back up again, you find yourself blankly staring at the mother of this child as you pass by each other. You can’t help but think, “can you please take some control of your kid? This is a public place not your home! ” but decide its better to just keep walking.

Until you realize that you have completely forgotten what you were shopping for thanks to that bellowing kid. Good thing you brought a list right? The doors close behind you and the screaming fades. You have but a moment of peace before you look up and ZOOM!! Some guy decides its a good idea to use his cart as a scooter, almost hitting you as he whizzes over to the produce section. Now, what in the world would make him think that’s a good idea? The grocery store is not a skatepark, and I’m certain that its small enough to easily get from point A, to point B just by walking.

Is it possible that he’s just looking for a little more excitement in his life? Maybe, he’s the same as you or me and wants to get his shopping done as fast as he can. Whatever the reason, people like him need to learn some courtesy and realize that there are other people in the world. You are now able to get started and pick up all the things on your list, you decide to turn down the “organics” aisle figuring it would be a shorter path to the front of the store. Little did you know this would be your worst mistake of the whole trip. Walking down the row of healthy foods are some of the worst grocery shoppers there are, the label-readers.

These are the health-nuts who will literally stand in the middle of the aisle and read every nutrition fact, ingredient, percentage and amount of grams per serving there are in a caesar salad. Then, as if it wasn’t already bad enough, they will continue to put that salad down and grab another salad made by a different company in order to compare the labels. Now, this wouldn’t be such a problem if they didn’t decide to park their cart on one side of the aisle and stand on the other side reading the labels, stopping you dead in your tracks.

Obviously label-readers must think its their world and the rest of us are just living in it. In which case, they need a wake up call. But regardless of the fact, you don’t want to be rude so you politely say “excuse me” and proceed to the check out counter. The check out counter, the final stretch of your shopping experience. All there is left to do now is pay for your items and go. It seems like this should be the easiest part right? Wrong. Unfortunately, you have two items too many to use the “express lane,” and all but one of the “self checkout” machines are out-of-order.

So, after carefully scanning each regular check-out line, you finally spot the one with what seems like the shortest line and casually stroll over there to wait your turn. What you didn’t see, was that the lady you decided to stand behind had the entire store in her cart! Little did you know that she was the worst shopper of them all- the Couponer. This is the bargain-shopper who’s annoying actions are broken down into three steps. First, this shopper will decide to pack her cart so full that the pile of groceries in her cart is taller than she is!

Inevitably, creating a longer waiting time for you. Next, she will stand there, stare at the clerk’s computer screen and argue about the 2-for-1 price for every item that doesn’t match up exactly the way she wants. Finally, after all her groceries are scanned, bagged and carted, the couponer will then proceed to dig through her entire purse searching for every coupon she has ever saved over the past year for that one shopping trip. As if she hasn’t already wasted enough of everyone’s time.

It is at this point of your experience when you realize that any hope of an efficient and speedy shopping trip was just tossed out the window. With all of the annoying people that decide to go to the grocery store, shopping can easily turn from a quick and easy chore into one of the most tedious experiences of your life. I encourage you, as a shopper, to watch out for people like this the next time you go shopping. Unless you just so happen to be one of these people, in which case I will be watching out for you next time I take a trip to the grocery store.

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