Admission to college

The world is fast becoming a borderless place.  Cultures, races, beliefs and ideologies are blend together and interact because of the growing advances in communications.  In order to succeed in this world, one needs to be able to adapt to the various cultural differences as well as be able to maintain a certain sense of individual identity.  This is one of the main reasons why I think the (insert name of college here) is the best place for me to cultivate and develop my talents.

Life has been challenging for me to say the least.  Unlike many who have gotten many opportunities in life, most of my opportunities have been the result of my hard work.  When I graduated from Columbia-Greene Community College in December 2006 with an Associate in Science Degree, I have to admit that it was one of the proudest moments of my life.  After all these years, the hard work and perseverance that I put in finally paid off and I was able to get the reward that I deserved.

It may not seem like a big accomplishment for many people but that day marked the culmination of the years that I put in and the verified my success in the face of the many various challenges that I faced along the way.  It does not appear on any transcript or college record but the fact that I am most proud of is that I accomplished all of this while being a single mother of two very lovely children.

They say that college life is very challenging and that the only way to succeed and get high grades in college is by being a full time student.  While I would have wanted to have that same opportunity, I had to do it the hard way; being instead a part time student and a full time mother.

Despite these challenges, I was able to remain on the President’s List of outstanding students for the Spring and Fall of 2006 academic semesters.  I constantly maintained excellent grades and also found time to do extra-curricular activities such as participate in the Phi Theta Kappa Sorority where I took part and handled a number of community outreach programs.

As I mentioned earlier, the world is changing fast and there are many challenges that lie ahead of me.  I understand that the best way to deal with those challenges is to be prepared and I firmly believe that this (insert name of university here) is the best training ground.  Equipped with a Masteral Degree in Business Administration, I know that I will be able to become much more and be prepared for the challenges that I will encounter.

I am currently working full time at the moment in order to prepare financially for college which I will be attending full time should I be accepted to this prestigious University.  Since this is the case, I am hoping that an adult online study course will be able to supplement my quest for knowledge and self-improvement for the meantime.

In time, I hope to not only create a better future for myself through the help of a fine education but also to create a better future for my two young children who have the whole world ahead of them.

While I personally believe that “there is no such thing as a free lunch” and that everything a person has in life must come from hard work and perseverance, I also believe in charity.  I believe in helping others who do not have much in life.

I believe in helping people regardless of their nation, race or creed.  I believe in being a better person so I can best help myself and others around me.  I believe that the (Insert name of university here) is the best place for me to turn these beliefs into realities.

Writing Quality

Grammar mistakes

F (51%)

Synonyms

A (91%)

Redundant words

F (56%)

Originality

82%

Readability

F (56%)

Total mark

D

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